Thursday, January 2, 2014

Spoon Play...



A man entered a restaurant and as he sat down, a spoon dropped from the table with his elbow. A nearby waiter reached into his shirt pocket, pulled out a clean spoon, and set it on the table. The man was impressed. "Do all the waiters here carry spoons in their pockets?"
The waiter replied, "Yes. An efficiency expert determined that 7.8% of our diners drop spoon. By carrying clean spoons with us, we save trips to the kitchen."
As the man was paying the waiter, after ate his meal, he commented, "Do you know that you have a string hanging from your fly?"
The waiter replied, "Yes, we all do. The efficiency expert determined that we spend too much time washing our hands after using the men's room. So, the other end of that string is tied to my penis. When I need to go, I simply pull the string, do my thing, and then return to work. Having never touched myself, there really is no need to wash my hands. It saves a lot of time."
"Wait a minute," said the diner, "how do you get your penis back in your pants?"
"Well, I don't know about the other guys, but I use the spoon."

Wednesday, January 1, 2014

Poking Nun...


Three nuns were talking. The first nun said, "I was cleaning in Father's room the other day and do you know what I found? A bunch of pornographic magazines." "What did you do?" the other nuns asked. "Well, of course I threw them in the Fire." The second nun said, "Well, I was in Father's room and found a bunch of condoms!" "Oh my!" gasped the other nuns. "What did you do?" they asked. "I poked holes in all of them!" she replied. The third nun fainted.