I didn't realize:

Late at night this guy enters the dhaba and demands a glass of water.  The guy drinks it in one gulp and asked for a second glass. Six glasses later he has recovered enough to speak.  "Thank God," he croaks. "That's hell of a thirst you've got," says the Dhaba owner.
The guy said, "Any man would be as bad if he'd had sex with the woman in my car.  She's insatiable.  She wants me to go right back out there and do it all again, but I couldn't." "Where's your car?" the Dhaba owner asked. "Just a little away at the roadside," the guy gasped.
"May I ask for a favor," said the Dhaba owner, "watch my Dhaba for me while, I nip out and take your place in the car." "Sure, be my guest," the guy says. So the Dhaba owner goes outside and gets in the car.  It's totally dark, so the woman didn't realize he's a different man.  And they get right down to it, humping away.
Five minutes later there's a knock on the window.  It's a cop, and he shines his flashlight on the naked couple. "What's going on here?" he asked. "It's all right, officer," explained the Dhaba owner,  "She's my wife." The officer replied apologetically, "Oh, sorry, I didn't realize."
Look at the woman the landlord said, "Neither did I, till you switched on that damned light."

Soup or Pussy…

One night an old man and woman were getting ready for bed when all of a sudden the old lady bursts out of the bathroom, flings open her robe and yells "Super Pussy" The old man says "I'll have the soup."

Patriot

India’s spy agency RAW was evaluating three men to be hired. They bring them in for interview separately. The first came in and sat down. The interviewer asked, "Do you love your wife?" He replied "Yes I do, sir." "Do you love your country?" asked the interviewer. "Yes I do, sir.” interviewer continues, "Whom do you love more, wife or country?" he replies "My country, sir." The interviewer looks at the man, "Okay. We brought in your wife. Take this gun go into the next room and kill her." The man went into the room; all is silence for about 5 minutes. He came back, with his tie loosened and he is all sweaty. He put down the gun and leaved. The second guy came in and sat down. Asked the same question and the responses was the same too. The interviewer gives him a gun, and tells him to kill his wife. The guy put the gun down and said "I can't do it..." The third guy came in, the same question answer. Given the gun, and told to go kill his wife. The guy went into the room, and dhadam! Bhadam! Bhudum! This is followed by crashing sounds that end after a few minutes. The guy came out of the room with his tie loosened, and puts the gun on the table. The interviewer looked at him and asked "What happened?!?!" The guy replied, "The gun you gave me was filled with blanks, so I had to strangulated her!"

Can I…

A pregnant woman with her first child paid a visit to her doctor. After the examination, she coyly said, "My hubby wants to ask you...” doctor quickly replies "I know... I know..., I am used to be asked it all the time. Sex is fine until late in the pregnancy." "No, no…," the woman said. "He wants to know can I still mowing the lawn."

Turn Around:

A dwarf gets on a lift, just before the door closes; a huge hand comes through and opens the door. And a very large black man enters in the lift. The dwarf stares and says "You're the biggest man I have ever seen". The man nods, and replies "I'm 6-9, weigh 110 Kg, and I have 16 inches, I'm Turner Brown." The dwarf faints! After coming, the dwarf asked the man to repeat.  He said, "I said I'm 6 - 9, 110 Kg, with 16 inches, my name is Turner Brown." The dwarf looked relieved and said. "Oh, I thought you said 'Turn Around'."

Magic

A guy went up to a girl in a bar and says, "You like to play 'Magic'?" She says, "What magic?" He says, "We go to my house and fuck, and then you disappear."