Won’t come near

One day a lass decided to buy some panty and bra with a hole in it, to surprise her boyfriend. She bought and put them on and called the boyfriend. When he got home, she was spread on the bed with only her panty and bra on. "Come here dear." she said smiling. He shirked off, "If your pussy and boobs may do that to your panty and bra - I won’t go anywhere near them!"

Overseas Tease

A newlywed army man was informed that he has to go a long way from home on a remote island for two years. A few weeks after reporting there, he starts to miss the wife, so he wrote her a letter.

"My love, it looks like we’re going to be apart for a very long time. Already I’m starting to miss you. Here we’re surrounded by young, attractive native girls. The temptation’s terrible. I need some kind of hobby to keep my mind off them."

The wife sent him a harmonica with a note, "Learn to play this."

At last, his posting came to the end and he rushed to his wife. "Darling, I can’t wait to get you into bed and make passionate love!"

But she stopped him with a wave of her hand and told, "First, let’s see how well you play the harmonica."

In the soup…

The man and wife were celebrating their 50th anniversary. They were talking about how they should celebrate the big evening. The wife decided she would cook a big dinner for husband. Then he said they should do what they did on their wedding night, so, at the dinner table they were naked. The wife said, "Oh, my nipples are as hot for you as they were fifty years ago." The man replied, "My love that's because they are sitting in your soup."

Packing puzzle...

A lad and his father were in a store and were walking passed by a rack of condoms, the curious boy, asked his father, "What is this daddy?" His dad said, "this is condom my son." The boy asked, "Why are they come in packs of 1, 3, and 12?" The dad replied, "The one condom pack is for high school boys, for Saturday night, the three’s pack is for college boys, one each for Friday, Saturday and Sunday, and the twelve’s pack is for the married men, one each for January, February, March and so on."

Changed the plan

After making love, under a bush near a river, a nature lover couple lays nude, when a hornet comes buzzing around and suddenly entered the unaware woman's vagina. The boyfriend quickly draped her with the rug on which they were laying. Then he puts on his trouser and shirt in a hurry and carried her to a hospital in his car.

After listening, the doctor checked up and said that the hornet was entered too far in and it’s not possible to reach it with any available tools. He then recommended that husband would try to lure it out by putting a few drops of honey on his penis, penetrate her and withdraw as soon as he felt the hornet at his penis.

The boy was agreeing to do so, but he was so nervous, he couldn't rise to the event." Seeing this, the Dr. suggested that if they are free from taboo and don’t have any objection, then he could give his services for the cause."

Under the tricky situation, both were agreed. The doctor applied some honey and mounted the girl. The boy was watching and alarmed as the doctor's thrust continued. He said in a pathetic voice, "Hey, What the hell you are doing?"

"I have changed the plan," The physician gasped. "I'm going to drown that bastard!"

Change Position with Gopal Kanda…

Gopal Kanda was hanged because of Geetika’s suicide, and of course went straight to the hell. There, Yamraj offers him three options to spend eternity. They go to the first door; here a fellow was hanging from the ceiling with fire under him. Kanda said "Oh no! I don’t want to spend all eternity in that way..."   They go to the second door. Where a fellow was chained to the wall being tortured in many ways. Kanda said, "Oh no! Not that..!"

They go to the third door. Behind it a fellow was chained to the wall with Geetika indulging in unnatural sex. Kanda instantly decided, "yaah, it looks okay to me. I'll take this one position." Yamraj said, "OK. Hey… Geetika, now you are replaced."