Misuse:

Once upon a time there was an army camp in Rajsthan, India. There commissioned a new British commander. The new commander inspected everything. There was a camel tied to a tree on the edge of the camp. The commander asked what it was for, one soldier who had been stationed there for a while explained to him that the men sometimes get lonely since there were no woman nearby. So they have the camel. The commander just let that go, but after a few weeks he was feeling very lonely so he ordered the men to bring the camel into his tent. The men did, and he went to work on it. After about an hour the commander came out button up his pants and said, "So that’s how the other men do it." One man responded, "No, we usually just use the camel to ride into town."

Fugifoo…

Vijay Malya was in Japan. He met a most beautiful call girl who was beautiful than his calendar girls. Even Poonam Pandey was nothing before her. He spent all night with her and she kept screaming "Fujifoo, Fugifoo!!!", which seems to him stirring and pleasurable. Next day, he was golfing with a Japanese and he got a hole-in-one. Wanting to impress the buddy, he said "Fujifoo". The Japanese looked confused and said "No, you got the right hole."

Mouthful…

A College boy and a College girl met at a hospital donation center.

Boy: "Hi, what are you doing here today?"

Girl: "Oh, I'm here to donate some blood. I’ll get 100 Rs. for that."

Man: "That's interesting. I myself is here to donate sperm. But I will be paid 500 Rs."
A few days later, they meet again in the hospital donation center.
Boy: "Hi there! Here to donate blood again?"
Girl, shaking her head with mouth shut, "Unh, unh."

Send to me…

Mallika sheravat went to entertain military personals. There she went to visit military hospital. During her tour she past a room where a male patient was masturbating.

"Oh my god!" she said, "That's disgusting, what is this?"

The doctor leading the tour explained, "sorry, but this man has a very serious condition where the testicles rapidly fill with semen. If he doesn't do that five times a day, they would explode and he may die instantly."

"Oh, poor guy."

Next, they were passing a room where a nurse was giving a patient a blow job.
"Oh my God", she said, "What's happening in there?"

The Doctor replied, "Same problem, better health plan for officers."

“Oh,” said Mallika, “Why don’t you send one of them to me”

Rubbing…

One day a teacher walked into her classroom, and she noticed that someone had written in tiny letters the word 'PENIS' on the blackboard.  She scanned the children, to find a guilty face. Finding none, she rubbed the word from blackboard. Next day, again the word was there. This time in a little big letters than before. Again she looked around for culprit but failed. Every day, she went into the classroom and found the same disgusting word was written larger than the previous one. Every time she rubbed off vigorously. At the end of the week, with the annoying word there was written a sentence: "The more you rub it, the bigger it gets."

Bitch…

A boy at school heard the older kids talking about pussy, and the bitch. Confused by this he went to his mother and asks, ""Mom what's a pussy?"

Startled mother thought quickly and finds a dictionary and opens it up to a picture of a cat and said "Son, this is a pussy." Then he asks "What's a bitch?" The mother again opens to a picture of a dog and says "Son, this is a bitch."

Still confused boy walks away, and saw his father. The son walked to his father and asked, "Dad, what's a pussy?" The father whips out his Penthouse magazine to the centerfold, grabs a marker and draws a circle around the vagina and says "Son, this is a pussy!"

The son, now starting to understand what the older boys are talking about, then asked "Then, what is a bitch?"
The dad replies, "That everything outside the circle is bitch!"

Good Idea…

Two deaf got married. During the first week of marriage, they find that it’s not possible to communicate in the bedroom after dark, because they couldn't see each other’s sign language. After that, the wife found a solution. "Honey," she signs, "we can agree on some simple signals? As if you want to have sex, reach over and squeeze my left breast ones. If you don't want to have sex, reach over and squeeze my right breast ones. The husband thinks this is a good idea and signs back to his wife, "Good idea, Now if you want to have sex, reach over and pull on my penis ones. If you don't want to have sex, reach over and pull on my penis ... fifty times"

Second Opinion…

A doctor and his wife have an immense spat at breakfast, "You aren't good in bed either!" he shouted and stormed off to work. After getting his clinic, he decided to make amends and called home. It took a few moments to come his wife to the line.
"What took you so long to answer?"
"I was in bed."
"What were you doing in bed at this time?"
"Getting second opinion."

Won’t come near

One day a lass decided to buy some panty and bra with a hole in it, to surprise her boyfriend. She bought and put them on and called the boyfriend. When he got home, she was spread on the bed with only her panty and bra on. "Come here dear." she said smiling. He shirked off, "If your pussy and boobs may do that to your panty and bra - I won’t go anywhere near them!"

Overseas Tease

A newlywed army man was informed that he has to go a long way from home on a remote island for two years. A few weeks after reporting there, he starts to miss the wife, so he wrote her a letter.

"My love, it looks like we’re going to be apart for a very long time. Already I’m starting to miss you. Here we’re surrounded by young, attractive native girls. The temptation’s terrible. I need some kind of hobby to keep my mind off them."

The wife sent him a harmonica with a note, "Learn to play this."

At last, his posting came to the end and he rushed to his wife. "Darling, I can’t wait to get you into bed and make passionate love!"

But she stopped him with a wave of her hand and told, "First, let’s see how well you play the harmonica."

In the soup…

The man and wife were celebrating their 50th anniversary. They were talking about how they should celebrate the big evening. The wife decided she would cook a big dinner for husband. Then he said they should do what they did on their wedding night, so, at the dinner table they were naked. The wife said, "Oh, my nipples are as hot for you as they were fifty years ago." The man replied, "My love that's because they are sitting in your soup."

Packing puzzle...

A lad and his father were in a store and were walking passed by a rack of condoms, the curious boy, asked his father, "What is this daddy?" His dad said, "this is condom my son." The boy asked, "Why are they come in packs of 1, 3, and 12?" The dad replied, "The one condom pack is for high school boys, for Saturday night, the three’s pack is for college boys, one each for Friday, Saturday and Sunday, and the twelve’s pack is for the married men, one each for January, February, March and so on."